Regular exercise, $100 Nikes and a big stick

Vowing to exercise regularly has become a cliche. I revisit the idea at least once a month.

It’s featured as part of my new year’s resolutions, columns about my ever- growing to-do lists, about hiring treadmills, and let’s not forget my little series re: getting up at the crack of dawn and pounding the pavement in my post-Easter 2008 columns.

(I’m counting on no one remembering what I write from one week to the next, let alone from two years ago).

So far my resolve lasts about as long as it takes a newspaper to get to print. This time is different though. This time I have bought the right shoes.

“Apparently 12-year-olds only respond to cash, not emotional blackmail. Particularly when he hates getting out of bed in the mornings as much as I do.”

Now that I have the cutest pair of pink and grey Nikes imaginable, I’m sure I’ll be able to stick with a regular program.

I saw them when buying soccer-related paraphernalia for the kids last weekend, and the minute I tried them on I felt all sporty and athletic.

Trust the hubby to point out the absurdity of paying $100 for a pair of running shoes when I haven’t run anywhere since the 1980s.

He’s missing the point entirely. It’s like one of those chicken/egg arguments. The shoes must come first. When I’m wearing them I can just picture myself bounding along on an early morning jog before my breakfast of wheatgrass and ginseng-infused something-or-other.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though. First I have to wear them outside of the house (unless it’s raining; they’re too pretty to get wet).

I’ve asked the first born to help me get motivated. I’ve suggested his job could be shaking me vigorously at 6am and then chasing me down to the park with a big stick.

When I asked if he knows what a personal trainer does, he replied: “Make lots of money?”

Turns out he’s only willing to help if he’s remunerated accordingly – as if potentially adding years to his mother’s life wasn’t reward enough.

Apparently 12-year-olds only respond to cash, not emotional blackmail. Particularly when he hates getting out of bed in the mornings as much as I do.

Not to mention that he and his siblings benefit from the status quo: at the moment they can outrun me when required, so it’s in their best interests to keep things that way.

Last 5 posts by Tanya Lau

• Striking a blow for sisterhood - November 4th, 2009
• Men are from Mars, cars are from Venus - October 14th, 2009
• Humiliation really is the key to humility - October 6th, 2009
• Tom, Katie, Brangelina; It's not you it's me - September 18th, 2009
• Excercise update: The shoes failed to deliver - September 8th, 2009

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